How much of yourself do you need to sacrifice to have a happy relationship?
Imago Relationship Couples Workshop “Getting the love You Want”
Many theories and self-help books suggest that you need to compromise parts of who you are, to be in a relationship. You need to accept certain behaviors of your partner. To do that, you need to compromise.
The problem with that, is that this feels unfair. And you didn’t fall in love to give up parts of yourself? Somewhere, the price for peace or to be accepted, feels too high. If you need to choose between life and peace or love, somewhere, our aliveness becomes the more important choice. You can sacrifice for a day, or a month or maybe a year, but not for the rest of your life. Because of this, every decision to adapt or compromise, becomes the basis for the next power struggle and breakup.
Don’t be misled by promises that compromising is real love and the more you sacrifice yourself, the more you will be rewarded with love. It will just let you feel more powerless, angry and disillusioned. And it definitely does not feel like love. And what is more, the people you compromise for, also does not feel loved.