1. With who do you fall in love?

You fall in love with someone because of two reasons:

Firstly, without even realizing it, you create your picture of the perfect lover based on your childhood caregiver. For you to feel your partner is acting the same as one of your parents is not a coincidence, it is the truth. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt explains; when someone acts in the same way as your childhood caregiver, the familiarity thereof creates an immediate sense of safety. You know the behaviour and already know how to react upon it and so, you feel safe enough to let down your walls and reveal who you are. Of course, it is possible for this familiar behaviour to not be seen as safe. (more…)