Kobus van der Merwe
Certified Clinical Imago Therapist. International winner of the Harville Hendrix Award for Clinical Excellence
Healing and Repair through connection and dialogue.
Imago - A New way to love. Grow through the power struggle to a conscious, adult, healthy relationship.
Can One Person Save A Marriage? Absolutely.
Choosing Your Mate: Why Do We Choose Who We Choose?
Why Relationships are so important.
What is Imago?
Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. of the Institute for Relationship Therapy in New York, is a paradigm shift in the understanding of marriage and marital therapy. IRT is a short term therapy that combines insight and practical skills.
The Therapy
Couples learn to become safe and intentional, to recognize and repair the wounds of the past, and to restructure frustration and 'incompatibility' as opportunities to reclaim their whole self.
Childhood
The term Imago is Latin for “image,”and refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” Simply put, there is often a connection between the frustrations experienced in adult relationships and early childhood experiences
Adulthood
For example: If you frequently felt criticized as a child, you will likely be sensitive to any criticism from, and feel criticized often by your partner. Likewise, if you felt abandoned, smothered, neglected, etc., these feelings will come up in your marriage/committed relationships.
Safety
When you feel unsafe in your relationship, you either hide away from contact, or you want too much contact. That creates a nightmare in itself of feeling smothered in relationships or abandoned.
Restore Safety
Imago teaches couples techniques how to restore safety in their relationships when they do not feel safe. Safe is to be yourself with the other. There is no blame and critique and sulking. Results of safety are playing, intimacy, exploration, nurturing and growth
Diconnection
When couples experience pain, they disconnect. This leads to a parallel marriage which feels more peaceful, but is alone, separate and isolated. This can lead to affairs, addictions or sometimes divorce. Imago Couples therapy helps you to realize that you are not each others enemies. Solve the real problem: heal the pain that causes the disconnection.
Re-Connection
Couples learn to connect through dialogue. When a problem connect with another problem, you have a power struggle. Imago Therapy help you to connect as human beings, soul to soul, essence to essence. Then the magic of LIFE follows.
Thursday, May 04, 2017
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